I’m writing this review at midnight, after seeing the show this evening. I’m too anxious to sleep. I’m not sure if I’ll publish this.

Why? Because I really like Crow’s. I respect their work. They put on great shows, and Bad Roads is no exception. It is an objectively good show. The script is highly compelling, the direction is smart and creative, the lighting, sound, and other technical components are excellent, and the acting is spot-on. Yet I walked out of the show feeling physically ill, shaking, and viscerally upset. I have never had such a reaction to any play or movie.

Bad Roads is about wartime in Ukraine. It was written in 2017, so it’s not referencing the current war, but it’s obviously pretty timely nonetheless. The show is just under 2 hours long, with no intermission. There are 5 or 6 vignettes depicting various wartime activities, ranging from seemingly mundane to insurmountably horrific.

We were encouraged to read the trigger warning before entering the show. We were also encouraged to read an article about the play before arriving at the theatre. I did neither of these things, because (1) I want to experience the play as the playwright intended, and (2) I feel like you should be able to go into a play blind and understand what’s going on, unless there’s a compelling reason to research it in advance (e.g. if it’s written in another language, or written in verse). I regret this decision.

On the Crow’s website, the audience advisory reads as follows: “BAD ROADS depicts forms of physical, emotional, and sexual harm as is both typical in wartime and distinct to the Ukrainian context. For any questions regarding the content of the show including more detailed information, please contact the Box Office.” Reading that statement alone would not have prepared me for what I saw, and the reaction I had.

As a Jewish woman, watching a hostage being violently raped, degraded, and tortured in such a graphic manner made me so unbelievably uncomfortable that I wanted to escape my skin. And before this scene, there’s another one where a girlfriend is grieving the death of her soldier boyfriend, who was beheaded. The girlfriend is tormented by the killers, who kept the solider’s head and were texting the girlfriend from his phone. This is all hitting WAY too close to home right now. I know that theatre is meant to make you feel things and care about issues, but this is not something I personally need to be confronted with at this moment.

I don’t hold Crow’s at fault. This show was planned long before October 7, and heck, if it were a badly performed play, I probably wouldn’t have had such an intense reaction. I love Crow’s, and I will continue to support them. I just thought people who may be a little sensitive right now should understand what they will be seeing.

Bad Roads is playing until November 26. Tickets here. Thank you for the invite, Crow’s team.

Featured image: Shauna Thompson & Craig Lauzon, by Dahlia Katz